You can take the girl out of therapy, but you can't take the therapy out of the girl...

I feel like a teacher-apist today. I should know better than to give out a worksheet that asks kids to list their feelings. Because when they follow instructions and list their feelings, I those old therapist tendencies start to kick in. The kids who tell me their parents don't treat them well? DESPERATELY wanted to sit them down and find out the whole situation (etiology, genogram, diagnosis!!!), but I had to refer them to the school counselor.

Or the girls who have confided that they have contemplated suicide. More than anything, I just want to sit them down and talk about this!!!! It's illogical to me that for the next two weeks, all I get to do is talk to her about how to thread a needle and sew a hem.

Don't get me wrong. I don't WANT to do therapy, but when I see kids whose needs are beyond the "scope of practice" of my teacher position, I feel limited. I am starting a prayer group with two other teachers on Monday, so hopefully, I will be able to feel like I'm doing something...

ORANGE!!!

I bought an orange jacket tonight at Target. This was a big commitment for me because jackets are kind of expensive. Was it my newfound love for fall that prompted the purchase? My understanding that orange is fashionable this fall (although as I told my students, almost no one actually looks good in orange), sentimentality for OSU, or my frustration with being surrounded by OU fans here in the city? Who knows, but I love it!

The First 9 Weeks

So I'm a teacher now. Not sure I ever mentioned that here. As of three days from now, I will have officially survived my first nine weeks in my first school. It's definitely been an adventure.

I have learned so much in this time frame...much of which I would like to have known BEFORE I started. It would have been very useful then. Like...6th graders are very much still children and should not be expected to be as responsible as college students...and how 8th graders will try ANYTHING to get a rise out of an authority figure, so teachers should have really firm discipline plans in place...and how I should think of 7th graders as middle children because they need CONSTANT attention! It's been fun and frustrating all at once, and I think I like it :)

The first day, I really thought I had this teacher thing whipped. I put on my stern voice. I did not allow fun things. I informed students about the procedures of my classroom. They sat relatively quietly and listened. The first day, I left school around 4:00! Awesome!

Then the second week rolled around. Those 8th graders I mentioned earlier? Yeah, they started being themselves. I issued some discipline and was chastised by two other teachers AND called down to the principal's office. Did they not know that I have NEVER been called to the principal's office in all my life? Except the time all the valedictorians were called to Mr. Slater's office to learn who was going to give the speeches. So, nervous beyond all logic, I went down and faced the music. Needless to say, discipline is my biggest struggle.

That brings me to the next point...this school is kind of a rough one. Maybe not the worst possible. It's not like inner city, just rough suburb immediately nearby inner city. Anyway, the kids lack a lot at home, and it shows when they come to school. All I want is to show them care and respect and to teach them to do the same, but it's an uphill battle. For them, fighting and yelling are a way of life and the way they can see that someone cares about them. It's hard to overcome that, and I'm learning a lot about my own "parenting" style.

On the positive side, I have some great stories. From the kid who picked a scab and bled on the second day of school to the whole class of students who took a collective breath of awe when they realized I had understood part of their conversation...in Spanish to the goth 8th grader who says he doesn't like people but went to town making decorative coffee smoothies for the crew and receiving rave reviews, I've definitely had some funny moments. One of my favorites was all about a lost math book...

Kid: I'm failing math.

Me: No good! What's going on?

Kid: Well, I lost my math book, and my math teacher is mean and won't give me another one.

Me: Well, have you looked for it at home?

Kid: Yes! And I think my mom hid it from me!

Me: Your mom? Stealing your math book? Why would your mom steal your math book?

Kid: I don't know. She doesn't want me to go to college, I guess.

Well, turns out I've had a math book just sitting in my classroom for about 6 weeks. I went and got it and discovered it was in fact this kid's textbook. I gave it back to him and about 5 minutes later overheard him talking to another student..."I found my math book! My teacher stole my math book!!"

It was hilarious.

The next week, he told me he didn't have any math homework because he got it finished in math class because he had his book! Aww, happy ending :)

So all in all, here's a summary of my thoughts.

Negatives:

It really IS a lot of hours.

I definitely underestimated the amount of grading.

I haven't made a lot of friends in the school yet because of this whole crazy teaming system they have that my subject doesn't fit into. Very frustrating.

I'm not convinced that teaching THIS subject at THIS school is the best fit. I was raised in the country, and that is the type of school that I feel most comfortable in. We will just have to see where God leads both Luke and me.

Positives:

I really like teaching! Getting to know the kids and planning lessons is great fun! I even like teaching cooking and sewing (MAJOR surprise!)!

I love the hours and am SUPER excited about the breaks I will get.

I love it that maybe someday, Luke and I can both be teachers, and we will have the same hours and breaks.

End of the Church Search!!

Well, we found one! And we love it! It's bigger than we were looking for, but the size is actually a good thing. The place is overrun with children and people getting ready to have children (we're so not drinking the water there), and one week we had 21 couples in our Sunday school class. This means that we have finally FOUND the people our age! We know where they are now!

And we love the people! And the pastor! And the real, honest-to-goodness Bible STUDY we get there! Oh my goodness, I'm so excited!

Political Adventures

I absolutely LOVE IT that this actually happened.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/07/30/harvard.arrest.beers/index.html

I love the "real people" aspect of it and of course the "let's get together and talk about our feelings" thing :)

Adventures of the Church Search, Part 2

Well, we visited #2 (The Big One), and we were all kinds of unimpressed. It didn't feel quite as big as I thought it would, but they did have red carpet, which is obviously a major strike against the whole place. Also, there were no windows in the sanctuary. The whole world could have been blowing away outside (it IS Oklahoma after all), and we would have just been sitting there unaware, happily singing praise songs followed diplomatically by hymns.

Lest I sound shallow, I will say that carpet color would not make or break a church for me. Neither would the fact that no one invited us to lunch or the fact that the deacon at the back only shook Luke's hand and not mine. The dealbreaker in this case was the man standing behind us. He oohed and ahhed over a brand new visitor, introducing his friends to the man and asking a million questions about his family and career. He failed to even greet us. Either we have super familiar faces, or the church isn't too personable. That mixed with the overly simplistic message of "go reach people" again convinced us that in spite of the church's $20k/month budget, their resources will probably not fulfill our needs.

I'll Take the Scenic Route

That was definitely the way things were in Dallas this weekend when we were trying to find our way around. Jiggles McGee (as we have named my little blue GPS dot) was kind of a lazy leader, taking way too many breaks from motion. That, combined with the curvy roads, led to many times when we accidentally took "the scenic route" to our destination. This was a euphemism that helped us not get so stressed and upset when it took too long and too many 4-point-turns to get where we were going.

I've also recently decided that God has taken me on the "scenic route" career-wise in the last few years. I definitely don't understand why I went through a 2.5-year grad school program that I will never EVER be able to describe the intensity of to anyone who didn't live through it. I don't understand why I got this crazy job in tobacco prevention when I don't even LIKE tobacco prevention. I don't understand a lot of things, and I've always been able to explain to myself what the "greater plan" might be. This time...not so much. However, the other day on the way to work, I think God helped me a little with some perspectives.

If I hadn't stayed in OK for grad school, I wouldn't have started dating Luke. At that point, I absolutely WOULD NOT have gotten into a long-distance relationship. If I hadn't been in grad school and had the crazy schedule I did, I would have probably listened to the friends who criticized my relationship with Luke. Without the crazy schedule to blame my friendship failings on, I would have blamed them all on the relationship. If I hadn't been in grad school, I wouldn't have been learning all the theories about relationships to help me not freak out so much when my parents got a divorce. I wouldn't have seen all the worse-than-my-life examples that helped me not to feel sorry for myself. If I hadn't been in grad school, I might have lamented over the lack of money to fund my wedding, but as it was, we were just poor college kids planning a wedding. I look back with pride and wonder that we pulled it off!

I think most importantly, if I hadn't gone through grad school, seen my parents get divorced, and personally get married all within a two-year span, I wouldn't have reached a point of utter exhaustion and discouragement. God knows I need "utter exhaustion and discouragement" to actually give up on anything. Otherwise, I'm a big fan of putting myself through difficulty. Builds character, you know :) If I hadn't reached that point, I wouldn't have started thinking about other career options instead of my 12-year-old dream career. If I hadn't been married to Luke who suggested teaching, I might never have considered it. Now, I do believe it is TOO EARLY to determine that this new career is absolutely the most wonderful dream job in the whole wide world, but I am convinced that it is a VERY strong possibility ;)

The closer I get to starting the job, the more and more excited I get. I find myself feeling teary-eyed when thinking about sending kids to competitive events. I got so excited about receiving curriculum that the whole room must have felt my exuberance. I have plans and feel on top of things when the rest of the room seems to feel stressed and apprehensive. I can't explain how RIGHT it feels to be in this place. I can't wait to get started!!!!!!

Adventures of the Church Search

So we live in a new town now. Which means we have to find a new church. The only other time I've ever done this is when I went to college. I tried a giant church, a medium-sized church, a cowboy church...I tried avoiding a new church by just going to the one back at home on weekends, and I finally found one when I went with a friend. Amazing how just knowing ONE person can make such a difference.

So now we are looking, and being the unrealistically organized people we are, we have made a list and perused websites to establish potential pros and cons for each. We are really concerned about this--it's a big thing in our lives. There are three we are going to try:

1. The one that's just like ours at home.
2. The big one everyone recommended.
3. The small one that looks friendly on the website.

So far, #1 was super friendly, even though they have church at 9:30 and Sunday school at 11, and we awkwardly came in for Sunday school instead of the service (who DOES that, right?). Turns out one of my good (although a bit long-lost) friend's mom greeted us and introduced us to half the congregation. It was a good time. The sanctuary made us feel like we were in the middle of the country instead of where we really were--in the middle of the city. We even got two lunch offers. If all other factors are equal, we will have to determine the church by how many lunch offers we receive while there. ;)

I've always heard it's important not to try to find a "perfect" church because after all, churches are made up of saved sinners, and we all make mistakes. Totally agreed, but I think there are certain important factors for each person, and those factors need to be met in order for a church to be a good fit. My factors:

1. A healthy church. Clear communication lines, strong leadership, a sense that people in the church actually LIKE each other and the community in which they live.

2. Potential friends. People my age who are seeking the same lifestyle I am seeking, people Luke and I can relate to and hang out with outside of church.

3. A focus on outreach. I think it's important for a church to look beyond its walls to provide emotional and physical support to the community. Taking care of our own spiritual needs is important, but I have to be part of a place that is looking outward to feel like I'm part of something worthwhile.

So who knows what #2 and #3 will hold for us? I just hope that in spite of all my organization, God has pointed us toward a place He will work in us and help us see what role we can play in His big plan at this time and place in our lives.

A Short Rant

So the Today Show had a segment this morning about how Miss California likely lost the Miss USA pageant because of her "politically incorrect" answer to a question. Without necessarily bringing in the actual content of the questions, I would like to discuss the thoughts this ordeal raised for me.

Why is it that liberals expect and require tolerance from conservatives, but they don't seem to require themselves to afford conservatives the same respect? It's ok for the blogger/judge to call Miss CA a bad name on national TV, but if a conservative bashed his values, he would be up in arms about how intolerant the conservative was. What about HIS intolerance of Miss CA's values?

I don't think "agree to disagree" or "everybody come to the middle" will solve the issues at hand, but but the principle of "two wrongs don't make a right" is still true. I don't think it's wrong to hold your beliefs sacred and stand for them no matter what. When you truly believe in the basis of your values, then you don't have to be disrespectful of those who believe differently. When your values are formed around the Truths of the Bible, as provided by the God who created the world and keeps it in order every day, then there is no shame in keeping those values.

It's not intolerant to believe what is right and true and to stand by it.

Some Things Never Change. Some Things Do.

In high school, I read a magazine article in Psychology Today that said if you want to change your personality, you should do it before you're 30 because by that time, things are pretty much set in the personality department.

While that is highly debateable, the other day, I took a personality quiz that told me what has been a resounding theme: I am an ENFJ. This means I'm more extroverted than introverted, I think things through and make a lot of lists, am hyper-organized, and have to know HOW and WHY stuff works. I took the quiz hoping it would give me some new ideas about what I should be when I grow up since I've been stuck on that question since about this time last year.

When I was 12, I could have told you. 18, same story. 22, no changes. So what happens to change a person's whole concept of what her life's work should entail? I'm still working on answering that question. As an ENFJ, it drives me nuts that I haven't analyzed it enough yet, and I have a natural inclination to think that somewhere, somehow, I did something WRONG to make the dream I had disappear.

The quiz result that most stuck with me was when it said ENFJs feel very distraught when things don't go the way they planned. I am certainly no exception to this plan. For example, I love surprises...but ONLY if they exceed my expectations. Otherwise, please, please, PLEASE just let me plan it myself! With that being said, the hardest thing about figuring out this whole career thing is letting go of the plans I had, realizing that being sentimental over giving up my 12-year-old dream job is hindering me from being what I can be NOW.

So...what CAN I be now?

(Find your letters at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp)

That's What I Love About Oklahoma, Installment 2

Ok, as crazy as this sounds...the weather! I LOVE the weather here! I appreciate creative spontaneity, so I can really admire a masterpiece as creative as Oklahoma weather. Take the past week for example. We had gale-force winds, downpour, hail, sunny skies, cloudy skies, drizzle, sleet, and snow...all in one week. How could a person ever get bored living in a place like this?

Favorite weather sites:
www.noaa.gov
www.weather.com

P.S. (the part you can skip if you want to but which gives you some fun side notes)

The first one is like the "professional" weather site. The second one, my friend David Hogg, who is a storm chaser for KSBI and once kind of saved my life in a tornado, told me that weather.com is not the best place to look for weather (they're kind of like watching Regis and Kelly instead of CNN), but I like it because I can look at radar maps that move. I can't figure that out on the other one.

That's What I Love About Oklahoma, Installment 1

It's no secret that I desperately wanted to leave Oklahoma to check out another place in the world until the whole job thing got us anchored here for a few more years. But since I've convinced myself (and prayyyyyyed for contentment!!) that this is a good idea, I'm free to get excited about our new life right here in the heartland. My last post--about the hail--got me thinking about the things I love about our great state, so here begins a series of things on that list.

First and foremost, people are kind and giving. You JUST don't find that in the same way in other places. There's a good mix of southern hospitality, selflessness, and regular old enjoyment of life instead of constant scramble for the next step of progress. That's not to say that Oklahomans are backward, as may be the stereotypical perception (no, we do not drive horse-and-buggies, and we do not live in teepees).

I heard Kim Henry, our governor's wife, talk about the concept of the "Oklahoma Dollar," and I found this description on http://www.oklahomacitynationalmemorial.org/secondary.php?section=6&catid=165. This is the story that best explains the reasons I love being in Oklahoma.

"The Oklahoma Standard has been defined as a new level of caring. It was first publicly noted when some members of the media observed that citizens in Oklahoma ran toward the Murrah Building immediately after the bombing rather than away from the building. When a need for blood was broadcast, it had to be followed by an advisory to stay home, because more people lined up than were needed. When an announcement was made that work boots were needed at the site, workers pulled up and took off their boots and left them. First responders from out of town found that they could not go to a restaurant and pay for their own meals. Either the restaurant owner would refuse their money or another diner had already covered the ticket. The legend of the “Oklahoma Dollar” is based upon a first responder commenting that he was leaving Oklahoma with the same dollar he had when he arrived because, during his entire stay in Oklahoma, he had been unable to spend that dollar."

This Never Happened Before?!?

Tonight was the first time I've ever driven in hail. I can't believe I've never driven hail before! It sounded like poor Susie was going to be a dented mess when I got home, and I didn't even know what protocol says for hail--should you stop and wait it out because maybe when you're driving, it hits harder because of the movement? I decided Susie was going to be sitting out when I got home anyway, and I'd rather be at home than in a parking lot, so I kept driving. Anyway, long story short, no hail damage. Shocker :)

The best part was just before I got home, I drove through a residential area where I saw a couple standing on their porch in the rain gawking up at the sky. I wished I could take a picture and label it, "Typical Storm Activity in Oklahoma." Then I got home and learned that Luke and 3 of the neighbors had been standing outside our apartment building doing exactly the same thing. Love it that storms don't even phase us Oklahomans!

Most Recent Adventures

In the last four months, I have gone from student to employee, marriage and family therapist to tobacco preventionist, no-idea-what-I'm-doing-next to having a plan, and from wife of school teacher to wife of financial advisor-to-be. I'm not going to say I was happy with all of these things right away (a couple of them I definitely WAS!), but God is teaching me contentment and submission. I think those are my life-words for the next little while.

The point of this blog is going to be to share the fun stuff I come across. For example, I love looking things up (I want to hug whoever invented Google), so next time I find the link to the Wikipedia entry about how sumo wrestlers are trained, I'll go ahead and post it here so anyone reading can enjoy it as much as I do. I also love pictures and will post some of those. If I find a good recipe, I'll be sure to share it. Things I'm learning, decisions, funny stories, all right here. Basically, I think EVERYTHING can be an adventure if you just decide it is one, so those are the things I'll write about here. Stay tuned...